Ok, I’ll admit it. The reason that I’ve been knitting a mile a minute in the past couple of days (5 days for a shawl! 4 days for a sock!) isn’t because I have deadlines in a major way or that I’ve had plenty of time in the past couple of days. Oh no, that’s not it at all. It’s the stress. You see, I’m in the last couple of weeks of my second to last semester of college. Even though I know what I’m going to do with my life (which seems to be a step above many of my peers), there’s so many questions related to it. Along with the regular heavy load of higher-level classes in my History Major, I have the added stress of my Education classes.
I don’t know how to explain why these classes are so stressful. It’s not that the work is particularly difficult. I think it might have to do with the pressure that my coursework here will directly affect my (hopeful) job next year, and then, after that, my career. Honestly, teaching my lesson tomorrow to 3 classes of 6th graders shouldn’t be that big of a deal. I’m pretty confident in my ability to teach- I’ve honed my craft over two summers and have done my best to soak up everything my professors and cooperating teacher have taught me. I’m incredibly excited to begin my student teaching semester. That hasn’t stopped me from being up half the night because I’m way too freaked out to sleep. I feel, well, nervous. I guess this is normal. I mean, real life is coming, and I’m growing up. There’s jobs and references and the things I do matter. There’s no more “bombed this assignment, I’ll do better on the next one.” It’s stressful, right?
Thank you guys for reading this. I know that most of you come here for the knitting, but I take such comfort in your support. You are outside people, totally unconcerned with any of the things that everyone I talk to seems to have buzzing around in their ears. I know I’ll get through the next couple of (completely stressful) weeks and move on to my last break as a lazy student. There’s just one day of teaching, one 8 pg. paper, one 12 pg. paper, two final exams, and numerous little assignments between now and then. Lucky for me, there’s also socks and hats and KNITTING, too.