Nervous

Standard

Ok, I’ll admit it. The reason that I’ve been knitting a mile a minute in the past couple of days (5 days for a shawl! 4 days for a sock!) isn’t because I have deadlines in a major way or that I’ve had plenty of time in the past couple of days. Oh no, that’s not it at all. It’s the stress. You see, I’m in the last couple of weeks of my second to last semester of college. Even though I know what I’m going to do with my life (which seems to be a step above many of my peers), there’s so many questions related to it. Along with the regular heavy load of higher-level classes in my History Major, I have the added stress of my Education classes.

I don’t know how to explain why these classes are so stressful. It’s not that the work is particularly difficult. I think it might have to do with the pressure that my coursework here will directly affect my (hopeful) job next year, and then, after that, my career. Honestly, teaching my lesson tomorrow to 3 classes of 6th graders shouldn’t be that big of a deal. I’m pretty confident in my ability to teach- I’ve honed my craft over two summers and have done my best to soak up everything my professors and cooperating teacher have taught me. I’m incredibly excited to begin my student teaching semester. That hasn’t stopped me from being up half the night because I’m way too freaked out to sleep. I feel, well, nervous. I guess this is normal. I mean, real life is coming, and I’m growing up. There’s jobs and references and the things I do matter. There’s no more “bombed this assignment, I’ll do better on the next one.” It’s stressful, right?

Thank you guys for reading this. I know that most of you come here for the knitting, but I take such comfort in your support. You are outside people, totally unconcerned with any of the things that everyone I talk to seems to have buzzing around in their ears. I know I’ll get through the next couple of (completely stressful) weeks and move on to my last break as a lazy student. There’s just one day of teaching, one 8 pg. paper, one 12 pg. paper, two final exams, and numerous little assignments between now and then. Lucky for me, there’s also socks and hats and KNITTING, too.

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6 responses »

  1. Hugs coming your way Michelle :). I remember being in your shoes, and rather felt the same way as you’re feeling right now, and that was over 20 years ago. You’re moving into the next stage of your life and it will be an exciting, challenging and a wonderful time. Embrace it and welcome to your new adventure in life, it truly will be fun, I promise !

  2. Hang in there! You’ve got this. Knitting is a great outlet for stress (although sometimes I get so nervous that knitting makes me feel nervous too)! You’ve got to push through the end and then it’ll get easier.

  3. I can’t speak for professions in education but the best thing about working is that you are no longer in a vaccum in trying to get your assignments done. You have people that you can ask if things feel hinky and will guide you if you stumble. But with all of that I completely understand your feelings. It is incredibly scary but I hope you can find some excitement in taking these next steps because you have worked so hard for so long to get there.

    Hugs and you will be great!

  4. There is some sort of protective shell that school gives us, isn’t there? It’s really easy to be in a program, working towards a job in the ‘real world’ and it’s all well and good. But then, reality starts to sink in and you realize that there is a change coming and it’s scary! You COULD do what many people I know do and enrol in a new program and continue going to school! hahah

    I am sure you will be fine. It sounds like you are well prepared for your new adventure. Change usually brings with it some anxiety for most people (I am one of those people!).

    One step at a time and you will make it through these next couple of weeks. And be sure to ENJOY that last break as a lazy student. :) Good luck!!

  5. I don’t know if it’s any comfort, but actually teaching is a whole different planet from anything I learned in my classes or observations anyway. It’s one of those things you really don’t know until you do it. So, at least you know no more nor less than any of the others in your classes?

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